Julianne Hough – Coping with Multiple Deaths.
Julianne Hough – Coping with Multiple Deaths: Julianne took to instagram last week to announce the tragic death of Lexi and Harley, her two Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. The American star of Dancing with the Stars announced the sad loss on her instagram page. She wrote:
“Thank you for being my babies, my daughters. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for teaching me how to be your mother.”Thank you for allowing me to give and receive love. Thank you for your kisses. Thank you for your blessings every single minute of every single day. Thank you for your souls. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for letting me protect you. Thank you for protecting each other. Thank you for the timeless memories. Thank you for your magic.”
Lexi was born on July 21 2008 whilst Harley was born on March 28 2011. The girls were three years apart but both passed away on the 28th September. To lose one of your beautiful pups is awful but two in one day, I just cannot imagine the pain. Grief is a tough beast but suffering two deaths at once or very quickly after one another can be overwhelming.
Coping with the shock of grief.
I’ve talked about the impact of a bereavement, we all experience grief differently and each grief can be completely different from a previous one. But often our first reaction is shock. To have to cope with a double shock can be especially tough. The impact can be very physical. The NHS guide Understanding reactions to traumatic events, states that:
Traumatic events are generally sudden and unexpected and because there is no time to prepare beforehand, a person has to make sense of things after they have happened. When the threat system is active, the parts of our brain that help store and remember information don’t work so well. The sense of threat or danger can mean your mind holds on to the memory very strongly. It takes time to adjust to the new experience and for the sense of danger to subside.
It is really important to take very good care of yourself. If you can talk to someone who understands what you are going through it can really help to reduce the sense of threat. Try to keep using your breath to cope with the impact of the adrenaline.
Again the NHS has some really helpful advice on its website:
This calming breathing technique takes just a few minutes and can be done anywhere.
You will get the most benefit if you do it regularly, as part of your daily routine.
You can do it standing up, sitting in a chair that supports your back, or lying on a bed or yoga mat on the floor.
Make yourself as comfortable as you can. If you can, loosen any clothes that restrict your breathing.
If you’re lying down, place your arms a little bit away from your sides, with the palms up. Let your legs be straight, or bend your knees so your feet are flat on the floor.
If you’re sitting, place your arms on the chair arms.
If you’re sitting or standing, place both feet flat on the ground. Whatever position you’re in, place your feet roughly hip-width apart.
- Let your breath flow as deep down into your belly as is comfortable, without forcing it.
- Try breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Breathe in gently and regularly. Some people find it helpful to count steadily from 1 to 5. You may not be able to reach 5 at first.
- Then, without pausing or holding your breath, let it flow out gently, counting from 1 to 5 again, if you find this helpful.
- Keep doing this for 3 to 5 minutes.
I’m glad that Julianne Hough and her partner have had lots of family and friends to support them through this awful time and send them my very deepest condolences.
My Pets Ashes is dedicated to helping you to cope with the loss of your pet. If you would like more help and advice about dealing with the loss of a pet you you can find more information here.
You can also sign up for my FREE Pet Bereavement Guide right here. Let me help to guide you through your bereavement journey, one step at a time.
You can find out more about Julianne’s career and background here